You’ve got your destination picked out. Your itinerary is set. The custom playlist has been saved.
There’s gas in the tank, and miles to go. It’s Road Trip time.
The inspiration behind a Road Trip can come from nearly anywhere. Maybe you want to go looking for America, and a piece of your soul. Perhaps you’ve been hired to rapidly transport 400 cases of contraband Coors from the Rocky Mountains to Georgia. It’s even possible that you inadvertently mailed video evidence of cheating on your significant other to that very same significant other, and you’re hoping to beat the post office and intercept it before delivery. We all have our reasons.
For #TFOS purposes, the motivation is simple. We want to travel to interesting places and watch Charlotte FC dominate the opposition wherever we go.
With that in mind, let’s split this year’s MLS Away Days into Tiers to help decide which trips are worth hitting the road for, and which can stay in the garage forever.
S-Tier
Nashville, March 16th - St. Paddy’s Weekend Soccer in the Bachelorette Party Capital of the USA, with a lovely drive thru the Smoky Mountains to get there? Could. Not. Be. More. In.
Atlanta, June 2nd - Whether or not you consider the Golden Spikers our #TrueRival, Charlotte FC fans can easily make the short but slow trip down I-85, and with memories of last year’s Mercedes-Benz invasion fresh on the minds of many, it’s going to appeal bigtime as an early summer getaway in 2024. We scored our first ever MLS goal there and it will always be one of the most fun places to see the Crown win a match, even if that’s only happened one time, so far.
Austin, July 20th - Sometimes a Road Trip happens through the air, and just about anyone considering this Away Day should start looking at flight prices right now. It’s a place near & dear to my own heart as I have personally moved to ATX three times, and subsequently moved away all three times…I’ll probably move there again someday! Either way, I’m now Charlotte til I die when it comes to soccer, and tho I have a lot of love for and a lot of loved ones in the Texas capital, I relish the opportunity of wearing crown colors into the Q2 stadium and getting a win over a talented but generally dysfunctional Verde squad. I’d love to put together a huge pre-party for the Mighty Black & Blue in my old hometown so hopefully a lot of y’all can come make a weekend out of it with me.
DC, October 19th - The questionable wisdom of flocking to our nation’s capital in royalist garb just a couple weeks ahead of what figures to be a chaotic Election Day notwithstanding, this is a trip I simply cannot miss. Obviously we’ll be hoping the Decision Day aspects will have been already sorted out with us having earned a home playoff spot long before this game, but the fact is I’ve been to DC twice and seen us lose 3-0 both times. As my co-host John Hayes says: “we’re not going to stop making this trip til we at least see a goal.”
A-Tier
Vancouver, March 2nd - Not sure if anyone reading this is actually going to make this very long trip but if you do, I salute you. British Columbia is a paradise…take a few extra days and work in a side trip to Victoria across the strait, and thank me when you get back.
NYC, April 27th & Chicago, May 15th - Both these trips make the A-Tier because NYC & ChiTown are two of America’s (and Earth’s) great cities, and always worth a visit. The soccer experience is probably secondary here as both opponents play in trash stadiums, but on the bright side, wins are to be expected, and culture is unavoidable. I can understand the motivation to never leave the South if that’s your bent, but get to know these Yankee lands even if you are skeptical, there are valuable experiences to be had.
Montreal, September 14th - I’ve never been to Montreal but in my head it’s the French-Canadian version of the preceding paragraph. I’d really like to go and if this match is looking like a significant one for clinching playoffs or something like that, I just might!
Miami, September 28th - You are going to spend way too much on this trip and you are possibly going to hate the outcome of the match, but you are going to be minutes away from some of the best beaches on earth and you’ll probably get to see the greatest soccer player of your lifetime jog around for a bit…just barely sneaks into A-Tier but I’m not happy about it
B-Tier
Philadelphia, June 22nd - Mid-June is usually pretty nice in CLT so it’s tough to motivate yourself to battle traffic up the 95 to get to a very awesome city that is not *quite* as awesome as NYC or Chicago (sorry, Johnny!). But this is comfortably B-Tier and could push for A-Tier in many universes parallel to this one. Philly’s stadium is terrific even if the neighborhood you’ll find it in is not, and of all the “horrible Philly fan” stereotypes, Unionistas do the least to live up to them. Doop.
Cincinnati, July 13th - Mid-July is usually unbearable in CLT so get the hell out of town and visit our sister Queen City to the north…maybe pick up a few things on “quick franchise turnarounds” via osmosis. I’m 50/50 for this one at best but it’s a lil closer and a lot cooler than Columbus. Big question: Pay the $12.75 to save an hour on the drive via the West Virginia Turnpike, or no??
Orlando, September 18th - Why is this in B-Tier?? This should be in C-Tier at best. Someone do something about this please!
C-Tier
Columbus, July 17th - Having recently visited C-Bus for the MLS Cup Final I can say it’s a nice place to visit once. The stadium is solid and decently-placed downtown for pre/postgame, and I can give you an absolutely killer breakfast rec to fuel your return drive home if you end up heading there. Sad thing is we will likely be big underdogs but that could make for a famous win. Best bet might actually be to double-dip your roadie and combine this one with the @ Cincy game 4 days earlier…just need to convince your family that “Summer Vacay 2024 to Ohio” can be a thing.
F-Tier
Toronto, March 9th - Watch Party in CLT will be a helluva good time, I can promise you that.
New England, April 6th - Gillette Stadium shouldn’t exist. There will probably still be snow drifts in the Kafkaesque parking complex that you will never be able to escape postgame, as well.
Houston, June 29th - The site of Charlotte FC’s first-ever road victory, it would be fun to go back and try to do a double on ‘em but when you factor in length, cost, environment, and entertainment value from the brand of soccer the Dynamo tend to play...it don’t look good, cowpoke! You may be surprised to learn that Houston is actually a wonderful city full of dynamic culture, fantastic food, and an engaged sports scene…but go visit in the winter. The city’s location just a few blocks away from the fiery pit of hell makes it a non-starter mid-summer, for me.
New Jersey, May 29th - Last and definitely least, the idiot Red Bulls. I wouldn’t give them the pleasure of showing up to their industrial wasteland of a stadium complex. If you insist on going to rep the Crown in person for this one good on ya, just don’t forget the brass knuckles and feel free to stock up on a little extra Bad Attitude before the trip.
Full Charlotte FC Away Days Slate:
3/2 @ VAN
3/9 @ TOR
3/16 @ NSH
4/6 @ NE
4/27 @ NYC
5/15 @ CHI
5/29 @ NYRB
6/2 @ ATL
6/22 @ PHI
6/29 @ HOU
7/13 @ FCC
7/17 @ CLB
7/20 @ ATX
9/14 @ MTL
9/18 @ ORL
9/28 @ MIA
10/19 @ DC
Philly > NYC for many reasons other than the basic idea of not playing in a baseball stadium
Our daughter will be entering college at the end of the summer and we will be (extremely young) empty nesters. I know that there will be a lot of crying those following weeks, so I have planned out weekend road trips to keep us occupied. I think we are going to take advantage of the Real ID license upgrades and plan a trip to Montreal. Although I haven’t been there since a kid, I sold it to her as a “Paris on a Budget” getaway. She can see the culture, I can see the Crown and we can both have the Poutine. LOL